The first week I was here I wiped out on my rollerblades, ripping off several layers of skin. Epidermis no longer there, exposing the dermis with all of the nerve endings. This I found to be quite painful. So much so that an attempt to rip the gauze off of the wound, nearly sent me into shock- clamy skin, nasuea, the works. I eventually used some interesting bandages that act as a second layer of skin, covering the exposed nerve endings and providing a moist scab type covering using the wound's exudate.
And now its nearly healed. I forget about it now, whereas last week I would find my self lifting up my pant leg and playing with the bubble of exudate every where I went.
This whole healing process reminds me of my emotional healing process...
The hurt and pain causing everything to feel so raw, where anything could trigger pain shooting throughout my entire being. Like the gauze I tried to conceal it all, keep it covered, but I wasn't using the right material. I found myself seeking strength, and affirmation in outside sources such as excelling in academics, and receiving attention from men. Tearing these away, surrendering, quite a painful process, and one which I avoided for some time, but once removed the right dressing could be applied.
The gentle healing touch of the Lords hand upon my heart. Who used the "exudate" of my heart and used it for good, turning my hurts, and fears, and shame, into something new - a scab, and the start of new skin, a new joy a new song.
I feel as though where I am at with my leg wound depicts where I am at with my heart wounds. I forget about it sometimes, cuz it just doesn't hurt so much. But every once and a while it gets uncontrollably itchy, and I have to run to the aloe plant and salve my wound, just as I run to his throne, and say "Daddy, will you just hold me here a while" God's bringing me to a place of healing, and the itchyness is getting fewer and further between...
And now its nearly healed. I forget about it now, whereas last week I would find my self lifting up my pant leg and playing with the bubble of exudate every where I went.
This whole healing process reminds me of my emotional healing process...
The hurt and pain causing everything to feel so raw, where anything could trigger pain shooting throughout my entire being. Like the gauze I tried to conceal it all, keep it covered, but I wasn't using the right material. I found myself seeking strength, and affirmation in outside sources such as excelling in academics, and receiving attention from men. Tearing these away, surrendering, quite a painful process, and one which I avoided for some time, but once removed the right dressing could be applied.
The gentle healing touch of the Lords hand upon my heart. Who used the "exudate" of my heart and used it for good, turning my hurts, and fears, and shame, into something new - a scab, and the start of new skin, a new joy a new song.
I feel as though where I am at with my leg wound depicts where I am at with my heart wounds. I forget about it sometimes, cuz it just doesn't hurt so much. But every once and a while it gets uncontrollably itchy, and I have to run to the aloe plant and salve my wound, just as I run to his throne, and say "Daddy, will you just hold me here a while" God's bringing me to a place of healing, and the itchyness is getting fewer and further between...
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