So, this may sound a bit strange, but sometimes I can feel the crown I wear. Not all the time, but sometimes, I don't know why or how, I just do. I forget that its there, since I don't have eyes to see in the spiritual realm all the time, but its there. I don't even know if this is biblical. I have to look this up- bear with me
Crowns in the Bible that could relate to me:
-Queen Vashti wore a crown to display her BEAUTY
-the king was ATTRACTED to Esther, she had one his FAVOR and APPROVAL, so he crowned her
-...and crowned him with GLORY and HONOR (psalm 8:5)
-...redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with LOVE and COMPASSION (psalm 103;4)
-...the crown on his(God's ANNOINTED) head will be resplendent. (psalm132:18)
-...he crowns the HUMBLE with SALVATION. (psalm 149:4)
-[WISDOM] will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of SPLENDOR.(prov4:9)
-BLESSINGS crown the head of the RIGHTEOUS (proverbs 10:6)
-but the PRUDENT are crowned with KNOWLEDGE.(proverbs14:18)
-The WEALTH of the WISE is their crown (proverbs 14:24)
-They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting JOY will crown their heads.(Isaiah 35:10)
-to bestow on them a crown of BEAUTY instead of ashes (Isaiah31:3)
-and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. (ezekiel 16:12)
but we do it to get a crown that will LAST FOREVER. (1 corinthians 9:25)
-Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the VICTOR'S crown unless he competes according to the rules. (2 Timothy 2:5)
-Now there is in store for me the crown of RIGHTEOUSNESS, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:8)
-Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of LIFE that God has promised to those WHO LOVE HIM. (JAmes1:12)
-And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of GLORY that will never fade away.(1 Peter 5:4)
-...Be FAITHFUL, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of LIFE. (Revalation2:10)
-I am coming soon. HOLD ON to what you have, so that no one will take your crown.(Rev3:11)
So I guess that the concept of wearing a crown is very Biblical... What my crown is I'm not sure
But today it was feeling really heavy - not burdonsome, just heavy, which makes me extra aware that its there. And as I sat at the computer I thought, hey that's neat I wonder why. The last time I felt it it was riding in the car with my sister, and prior to that after a really healing counselling session. And when I feel I am wearing it, I think that my whole countenance shows it. I feel like I just SHINE when I know I'm wearing it. But the series of events today didnt match my awareness of my crown...
I had received an email from my church saying that they were trying to reach me regarding the mentorship program that I had applied to be a mentor for, but they had the wrong phone number, I quickly righted it, and within minutes received a call from one of the youth pastors at my church.
I could tell by the way that he thanked me for applying, that I had been denied, but I held my breath as the anticipation built around receiving the news. "I'm sorry but you have not been accepted to be a mentor", the enemy immediately chimed in, "You don't have what it takes, you are not enough"- so I asked why I hadn't been selected. To which he went to explain that they were looking for a certain type of person for this caliber of a program "bingo, not enough" I immediately start rushing through the interview trying to find some flaw some mistake, something that didn't represent me and my strengths - what skills do I need to acquire to be good enough, what character qualities am I missing that would enable me to be a part of this position- what can I change to fit in. I cholked back tears as I tried to hide this shattered place that I was in from my caller.
I was a mess, and I knew that the enemy would swoop in like vultures to a rotting carcus if I didn't hear truth right away. So I called our family friend, Lisa, an amazing woman who is fully alive, awake, and in tune to the kingdom of God. and imediately empathized and spoke into this whirlwind event that I couldn't make heads or tails of.
She shared her appretiation of my interactions with her children, that my church doesn't have the authority to define me, that I don't need this program because I have the Kingdom of God stirring in my heart, that the gifts and abilities I have don't fit in a paradigm because I have the kinfdom of God. She prayed and asked God to be the judge, that my church doesn't hold judgement, that I don't hold place to enter into self-judgement, and the enemy can not judge. That is for God alone. She spoke into the lies of not being enough, and being too much - ping- exactly where I was hurting. And asked God to bring healing now that this wound was open, that this pain would not go to waste-interesting.
All of my dreams last night had had the common theme of healing, cleaning things out, washing, finding something lost, distributing from the extra I had... The one that stuck in my head most vividly when I gained a bit of consciousness, was one where I was frantically packing at the last minute my 3 overstuffed suitcases. bags to bring here to Washington where I am now, and that for my trip to Costa Rica, I would be going with only one suit case that had a lot of room in the middle,and only an array of clothes that left the suitcase half empty (or half full...) I was up for but a moment, but just long enough to ask God if that had to do with healing, to witch he responded yes. When I did finally wake up this morning I was singing "Let your holy spirit wash over my soul, let your holy spirit come and take control..."
So come Lord, heal these places that have been uncovered, let this pain not go to waste
Crowns in the Bible that could relate to me:
-Queen Vashti wore a crown to display her BEAUTY
-the king was ATTRACTED to Esther, she had one his FAVOR and APPROVAL, so he crowned her
-...and crowned him with GLORY and HONOR (psalm 8:5)
-...redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with LOVE and COMPASSION (psalm 103;4)
-...the crown on his(God's ANNOINTED) head will be resplendent. (psalm132:18)
-...he crowns the HUMBLE with SALVATION. (psalm 149:4)
-[WISDOM] will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of SPLENDOR.(prov4:9)
-BLESSINGS crown the head of the RIGHTEOUS (proverbs 10:6)
-but the PRUDENT are crowned with KNOWLEDGE.(proverbs14:18)
-The WEALTH of the WISE is their crown (proverbs 14:24)
-They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting JOY will crown their heads.(Isaiah 35:10)
-to bestow on them a crown of BEAUTY instead of ashes (Isaiah31:3)
-and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. (ezekiel 16:12)
but we do it to get a crown that will LAST FOREVER. (1 corinthians 9:25)
-Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the VICTOR'S crown unless he competes according to the rules. (2 Timothy 2:5)
-Now there is in store for me the crown of RIGHTEOUSNESS, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:8)
-Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of LIFE that God has promised to those WHO LOVE HIM. (JAmes1:12)
-And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of GLORY that will never fade away.(1 Peter 5:4)
-...Be FAITHFUL, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of LIFE. (Revalation2:10)
-I am coming soon. HOLD ON to what you have, so that no one will take your crown.(Rev3:11)
So I guess that the concept of wearing a crown is very Biblical... What my crown is I'm not sure
But today it was feeling really heavy - not burdonsome, just heavy, which makes me extra aware that its there. And as I sat at the computer I thought, hey that's neat I wonder why. The last time I felt it it was riding in the car with my sister, and prior to that after a really healing counselling session. And when I feel I am wearing it, I think that my whole countenance shows it. I feel like I just SHINE when I know I'm wearing it. But the series of events today didnt match my awareness of my crown...
I had received an email from my church saying that they were trying to reach me regarding the mentorship program that I had applied to be a mentor for, but they had the wrong phone number, I quickly righted it, and within minutes received a call from one of the youth pastors at my church.
I could tell by the way that he thanked me for applying, that I had been denied, but I held my breath as the anticipation built around receiving the news. "I'm sorry but you have not been accepted to be a mentor", the enemy immediately chimed in, "You don't have what it takes, you are not enough"- so I asked why I hadn't been selected. To which he went to explain that they were looking for a certain type of person for this caliber of a program "bingo, not enough" I immediately start rushing through the interview trying to find some flaw some mistake, something that didn't represent me and my strengths - what skills do I need to acquire to be good enough, what character qualities am I missing that would enable me to be a part of this position- what can I change to fit in. I cholked back tears as I tried to hide this shattered place that I was in from my caller.
I was a mess, and I knew that the enemy would swoop in like vultures to a rotting carcus if I didn't hear truth right away. So I called our family friend, Lisa, an amazing woman who is fully alive, awake, and in tune to the kingdom of God. and imediately empathized and spoke into this whirlwind event that I couldn't make heads or tails of.
She shared her appretiation of my interactions with her children, that my church doesn't have the authority to define me, that I don't need this program because I have the Kingdom of God stirring in my heart, that the gifts and abilities I have don't fit in a paradigm because I have the kinfdom of God. She prayed and asked God to be the judge, that my church doesn't hold judgement, that I don't hold place to enter into self-judgement, and the enemy can not judge. That is for God alone. She spoke into the lies of not being enough, and being too much - ping- exactly where I was hurting. And asked God to bring healing now that this wound was open, that this pain would not go to waste-interesting.
All of my dreams last night had had the common theme of healing, cleaning things out, washing, finding something lost, distributing from the extra I had... The one that stuck in my head most vividly when I gained a bit of consciousness, was one where I was frantically packing at the last minute my 3 overstuffed suitcases. bags to bring here to Washington where I am now, and that for my trip to Costa Rica, I would be going with only one suit case that had a lot of room in the middle,and only an array of clothes that left the suitcase half empty (or half full...) I was up for but a moment, but just long enough to ask God if that had to do with healing, to witch he responded yes. When I did finally wake up this morning I was singing "Let your holy spirit wash over my soul, let your holy spirit come and take control..."
So come Lord, heal these places that have been uncovered, let this pain not go to waste
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